#are u kidding .......... that is so absolutely fucking unreal .......

[christinarowie332]

stupid kids in love

part three to “stupid horny fucks”

warnings : angst , SMUT !!!! , kinda fluff . sub chris if u squint . cock warming . m! receiving , f!riding . SMUTTTTTTTT

—————-

“what?” i cut him off , it feels like a punch to the gut . a thousand different things race my mind , the loudest drowning the rest out . what the fuck does that mean .

“look i don’t fucking know what to say . it was a stupid thing to do i know but you don’t understand, i have literally been fucking fighting myself with the knowledge that i am literally obsessed with you . i’m talking like … i can’t actually imagine myself with someone that isn’t you , and i know u shouldn’t have a one time fuck with a friend or someone your in love with but i fucking did , and i’m sorry that i made it awkward and i’m sorry you don’t feel the same and i’m sorry i didn’t tell u before and i’m sorry that i don’t fucking regret it .” chris finishes his incessant ramble and i’m stood frozen . literally everything he has just said was insane . like it feels like a dream . maybe a nightmare.

“chris”

“and i’m sorry that it happened the way it did , i feel like fucking shit knowing that was your first time and it was bad , i wish i could go back and stop myself . i’m so fucking sorry” he cuts me off , basically pleading with me . i wouldn’t be suprised if he got down on his knees and started praying. with all of his apologies ,all i can think about is holding him , he has absolutely nothing to be sorry for , i feel the exact same as he does. so why the fuck am i still frozen. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL FROZEN .

“chris i love you”

“please just hear me out- wait what” he cuts himself off and meets my eyes . his eyebrows soften before they furrow in confusion. i step forward , taking his face in my hands , searching each of his eyes , watching the tears that were flowing over his cheeks stop . i didn’t notice until now ive been doing the same , they pool on my chin , dripping down my collarbones and soothing the same place he had kissed me a week ago .

“chris i have loved you for years . don’t u dare apologize for anything, i was insecure and overthinking. i don’t regret the sex if you don’t , it was fucking perfect. please don’t run away now .” i say quietly, i silently pray he understands. that he believes me .

“u were the one who ran away” he says , refusing to meet my eyes , it was as if he thought that if he looked up , i would disappear. i grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me , his usual confidence gone in my grip . “and i will spend forever trying to make it up to you chris .” i reply , my lip shaking under my teeth as i try and hold back a sob , he needs me as much as i need him . he’s wanted me as long as i’ve wanted him . i have nothing to worry about .

we stay in silence for a while , before i tug him forward into me . his arms latching around me tighter then ever . i’m not going anywhere, i want to say . but the pressure of his body against mine finally silences the voice in my head , i completely melt in his grip . the scent of his cologne and just him flood my senses as my face rubs against the soft material of his sweatshirt .

he tilts my head to look at him , the blue of his eyes almost gone as the darkness of my hallway makes him seem like a shadow . almost unreal to look at . but he is real . i know this because his lips touch mine in a way they never have before , slowly melting into his touch as his tongue softly caresses mine , his hands move from my back . slowly trailing to my face as he pulls me closer , deepening the kiss impossibly closer . i kiss him back with the same amount of passion. no . love . that’s the only word for how his lips move against mine . how his hand moves to my neck, his thumb brushing against my pulsing veins . he could have his hands wrapped around my neck and i would trust him . i would let him squeeze the last breath of air in my lungs just to have this be my last memory.

i walk him to the wall , my lips never leaving his , his back hits it and as soon as it does he flips us around , pinning my back against the cold object . his body is basically attached to mine as he presses his pelvis to me, slowly rolling his hips against mine as i match the movement. our pace quickens , the soft kiss turns into a hungry one , soft groans as we explore each others body like the first time , his hand reaches towards my thigh and trails towards my knee, lifting my leg as i wrap it around his waist . my hand that was once on his face makes it to his chest as i push him towards my living room , never once breaking contact with his lips .

the moment i feel him hault and hit the edge of the couch , i push him down . immediately straddling his lap and pushing his hair back through my fingers , feeling the soft strands gently slide over my skin . i re-attach our lips , he pulls away but i chase his lips still looking for contact . “y/n this isn’t-“ i kiss him again , cutting him off but he moves back and swerves my attempt to carry on .”y/n listen to me “ i look from his lips up to him, “i need you to know that this isn’t the only think i want . it’s not just for the sex , i want you . i need you. it’s always been you . i should have said that before but i was just-“

“stop apologizing.” i say putting my hands on his chest to i can see him properly, “chris , we were stupid horny fucks , it was both of us , i don’t fucking regret it so just kiss me!” within a second of my words leaving my throat, his lips were on mine again . his hands travel to my ass , lifting me as i grind against him , my hands grab my t-shirt , lifting it over my head . his eyes fly to my chest , before dunking his head into the skin and sucking dark marks into it making my head throw back and my hand to grab his messy hair . after a few seconds i tug on the brunette strands , making his lips detach from my throat and look at me with the most attractive expression i’ve ever seen . his lips were plump and pink, along with his nose and cheeks, his eyes droopy and black as his pupils dilate . his lips were slightly parted so i took the chance to slide my thumb against his bottom lip , pulling it down and watching him squirm underneath my core , feeling his very hard dick against my clothes .

“for someone who doesn’t care about the sex , your little friend sure does …” i whisper while moving my hand to his face , tracing his cheek bone with my thumb gently . moving my hips against the hard object prodding at my pelvis . he whines slightly at the movement, making my lips turn into a smirk , producing a breathy laugh from him . “are you okay with this?” i ask playing with the hem of his shirt , asking to take it off , he nods and starts to help me . i smack his hand , resulting in a very confused look from him , i ignore him and pull it over his head , throwing it to the ground and getting off his lap to kneel in front of the couch. “and …are you okay with this ?” i ask looking up at him through my eyelashes , putting two fingers under the band of his sweatpants , running it across the ragged elastic material . he nods quickly and i take my hand away . “chris , words please baby” i say sitting on my heels and waiting for him to answer me .

“yes, fuck please” he says , letting out the air he was holding in anticipation. i smile at him and place my fingers under the band again , pulling them down . he raises his hips letting the sweatpants free for me too move down his legs , letting them pool around his feet . my hand ghosts over his cock , slowly moving up and down the material of his boxers , feeling him twitch . ”please” he breathes out . “please what?” i reply , loving the power this gave me . i could practically feel the pool between my legs , it should be teasing him but all it’s doing is making me wetter . he doesn’t need to know that though .

“touch . please just touch me y/n” he says , attempting to pull his boxers down. i take the fabric from his hands and pulling it down the rest of the way . his dick springs up and almost hits me in the face , making us both laugh, but he quickly gets serious when i grab his dick with my hand and spit down on the tip . his head throws back , shakey breaths and whines from his throat as i kiss his tip , tongue rolling around the sensitive skin . i take half of him in my mouth, letting my hand work the rest . slowly sliding my head up and down his dick , my lips rolling over his veins as he takes my hair into a makeshift ponytail and pushes he down further . my nails drag into his skin as i try not to gag as his tip hits the back of my throat , leaving red marks down his thigh , lewd sounds coming from both of us as i moan around his cock.

he pulls me up by my hair arruptly , my chest sliding against his dick as i come up , making him shutter and whimper. “what?” i ask , thinking i did something wrong or that he was in pain, “i was literally about to cum down your throat?” he says breathlessly, tilting his head slightly and furrowing his eyebrows .

“and u think i didn’t want that?” i ask as confused as him . he just relaxes and smirks, looking down at my lips and kissing me slowly . i pull away , pushing my sweatpants and my underwear down together , wanting more then anything to feel him inside of me , i straddle him again , letting my folds slide against his dick . he grabs his dick and slides the tip up and down . “jesus y/n” he says , referring to the fact i am basically fucking dripping at this point , i just roll my eyes and change the subject, “you ready?” i say , he smiles . “shouldn’t i be the one saying that?” i just tilt my head at his words , raising my eyebrows. “yes y/n” he continues .

as soon as the words leave his mouth i sink down on him , too fast . i can literally feel myself burn , he notices and kisses my lips again , brushing the hair from my face with one hand , wrapping the other around my waist to lift me up . “you okay” he speaks with concern , i humm in reply and slowly start to lift myself on him . slowly the pain turns to pleasure. feeling him deep inside of me . rolling my hips to get a deeper feeling , i drop my head to the crook of his neck leaving open mouthed kisses on the skin , breathing heavy and letting soft moans fall from my lips as he starts to thrust upwards . his hands are on my waist , before moving to my ass , helping me lift myself on his dick , he grips it hard enough to leave bruises , but the feeling in my stomach overshadows that pain as i feel the knot slowly start to gain more tension.

“chris , mmh, fuck” i breathe out before putting my hands on his chest and pushing myself up to look at him .”chris- FUCK … chris i’m close.” he lets out a strained moan , before nodding frantically and bringing his hand down to my clit , running fast circles on the bundle of nerves . my nails dig into his chest as i half-ball my fists and run them down his chest . he bites his lip harshly , attempting to muffle his own noises, but ultimately the sounds that leave his throat are breathy groans as his dick twitches inside of me .

the room that encapsulates us are filled will loud grunts and high pitched moans as we both completely undone around each other . i clench around him after i feel his warmth shoot inside of me , painting my insides white as i come almost straight after him . a string of curses leave our mouths before i collapse on his chest. listening to his quickened heart beat in my ears , feeling his hands rub up and down my breath as we both come down from our highs .

after a while i go to get up but he stops me . “is anyone home tonight?” he asks me , running his fingers through my sweat drowned hair .

“no why?” i ask , relaxing into his touch . “let’s just sleep like this” he says grabbing a blanket and covering us both on the sofa . i nod and lie back down on his chest , resting my head on his shoulder , breathing in his scent on his neck . he grabs he around my shoulders and wraps his legs around me , swinging us to the side so we can lie down on the sofa properly. his dick slides out slightly so i take the opportunity to wrap my legs around him and push myself closer to him . he lets out a small whimper at the sensitivity and i giggle , apologize and kiss his neck as i get comfortable against his body again .

“hope you know we’re defo not gonna be friends after this” he says , making me look up to him .”ur my girl now , you know that?” he says smiling and placing a small kiss to my forehead .

“yeah i’d fucking think so”

—————

hope i did y’all proud ☝🏻 i feel like im going to hell for writing this .

—

taglist:

@mangosrar @soursturniolo @biimpanicking @kvtie444@kenzieiskoolaid @urmyslxt @chrisenthusiast @mattslolita @iheart2021chris @parkerssecrets @recklesssturniolo @lovingsturniolo @paper-crab @daddyslilchickenfingers @strniohoeee @ermdontmindthisaccount @sturnphilia @bluesturniolo333 @lustfulslxt @lunarsturniolo @chrisolivia4l @freshlovehacker @its-jennarose @kitaysworld @liz-stxrn @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @flowerxbunnie @mattsbratt @slut4chr1s @oversturn @mbbsgf @fredswh0re @nickenthusiast

[madwickedawesome]

my mischa bachinski headcanons but they start off silly and end up really serious and the tonal shift catches u completely off guard but its ok bc anything for him

(sidenote u have to pretend he and noel were Close Friends/dating before death for a few of these but thats ok becau[tangent])

he for sure cries SO HARD at movies like its unreal. as soon as any movie gets even remotely sad, hes clutching onto the nearest person and holding back tears while his whole face scrunches from him trying to hold back his sobs {inspired by me watching puss in boots 2. that movie would also DESTROY him}

says shit like "that was so sick......" after passionate makeout sessions (to the immediate disgust of noel gruber) mischa (hair and collar disheveled) : that was so rad :D noel, appalled: What The Fuck Did You Just Say To Me

that being said mischas love language is physical touch!! he could not stand his time away from talia where he couldn't hold or kiss her and he loves to be Right next to noel and do his own thing {this is primarily derived from how much he caresses the face of talia's projection, him hugging noel for comfort, his relief when noel leaned against him, etc.!!!!!}

LOVES pickup lines. he looks them up on his phone all the time. he tries to personalize them between noel and talia not just through language but thru their interests and he has never failed to fluster either thru them (despite their TERRIBLE quality). its kind of a shock that he managed to fluster them tho, with how much be always messes up their wording out of nervousness (any comeback will leave him forgetting what he was going to say and immediately lagging)

HE LOVES GARFIELD thats it

got a little overzealous with his makeshift tattoo machine and now has some of the WORST tattoos ever. "oh i like elephants ill do elephant next!" headass

had to teach himself how to use chopsticks in case he ever "desperately needed to use them." he ends up holding them in the most fucked up way imaginable. it is a WONDER he can pick up food without breaking his fingers with that form honestly

cried with excitement when he hit 100 subs on his yt raps . like omg he finally felt accepted and felt like he had made a huge name for himself w this huge achievement and when he hit 1k he FREAKED OUT and made a thank you rap (such a dork)

experienced severe culture shock upon entering canadian catholic school; he went to an insanely strict russian orthodox academy back in ukraine. noel offered to skip together to go get food and mischa was like ??Huh? Are you insane (hc courtesy of sight)

the realization that he could do basically anything without being completely fucked over contributed to his title as a troublemaker; he acted out and had fun to the resentment of the headmaster (which only made him angrier and led him to acting out further and further, trapped in a cycle) (hc also courtesy of sight)

his mother taught him how to cook so many ukrainian foods before she sent him away to canada in order to prepare him for his life; every time he cooked for himself he had to hold back his emotions because all he could think of was his life with his mom and how much better things were without his new life in canada

that being said, whenever his "parents" kick him out or he just can't stand being in the same area as them, his first call is noel (to the worry and concern of noel and the absolute delight of noels mother)(she LOVES him). noel calms him down with hugs and indulges him with poetry to ground mischa

in ukraine, he struggled to realize more about his sense of self, sexuality, needs, etc. because of social stigmas; it took him a new life in canada and a long time to accept the side of him that loved boys and he still struggled to handle the weight of it by the time of his death

mischa believed in god as a child-- not so much anymore . as a kid he was terrified of sinning and always wondered about the assertion that "everything happens for a reason," always wondering what he was repenting for as his mother got sicker and his father remained absent. by the time he moved to canada and experienced the falseness of a canadian catholic school, he figured that not even the cruelest of entities would put him through what was happening. he could no longer find comfort or curiosity in the belief of a god, only disgust and a sense of selfishness.

monday, september 14 was going to be a good day. a day off from school, a day to just have fun and let loose at a fairground. noel wanted a stuffed toy really badly, mischa did everything in his power to get it for him. mischa did everything to indulge him, even kissing him at the top of the ferris wheel; it made noel happy so it made mischa happy. he had no internet, so he promised to text talia when he got back to his house. as the cyclone reached the apex of its loop, and mischa heard a sound, all he could do was pray to a god he no longer loved and prepare to meet him thats all i got for now thanx for reading love u!!!!!!!!!!

[bigweldindustries]

23. Also 36-40 for the music asks

VERONICA I OWE U MY LIFE <3

song asks

23 - a song from the year you were born

I had to go rootin round BC fuck if I know what was going on in 2000 I was in da hospital for all of it but One More Time by Daft Punk came out in 2000??? Axel wins again

36 - your favorite song you’ve heard live

I HAD TO THINK SO FUCKING HARD ABOUT THIS I've seen some absolutely fucking banging songs live so this took some real soul searching. I've seen so many powerhouses live - Charli XCX, SOPHIE, Justice, Pendulum, Porter Robinson, Madeon, both of them together, fucking Swedish House Mafia after waiting a decade to see them. But I think it's got to go to No Love by Death Grips. One of the rawest fucking experiences I've had in my life - DG are fucking UNREAL live, I was high as balls in the pit, everyone was throwing themselves around whilst hollering the lyrics, absolutely feral fucking experience I wish I could relive every day of my life

36 - a song that reminds you of your best friend

Genghis Khan by Miike Snow. I had it in one of my house party playlists and we for some reason dramatically tried to recreate the music video in our friends living room and everytime I hear it I think of her and crack up lmfaooo

37 - your favorite song from childhood

outing myself as the oddball kid I was but I got Waiting 4 (very specifically the Hi_Tack UK Radio Edit) by Peter Gelderblom on the back end of a pop compilation when I was like 7 and I was OBSESSED. small child me heard a dance song interpolating by the way by rhcp and was like "is anyone else gonna obsess over this or am I gonna have to"

38 - a song you always sing along to

I'm not much of the singing type I'm too shy but I was home alone earlier and was hollering along to Hollywood Baby by 100 Gecs so let's go with that lmao

39 - your favorite song in a language different from your native one

FUCKIN CO1N BY LVL1 GOES SO FUCKING HARDDDDD I fucking love all of lvl1's songs they're so fucking talented dude but Co1n in particular makes me lose my mind it's a killer fucking track

[heirloommtomatoes]

i waited too long to buy a train ticket to the airport to pick up my bf and it was almost $100........chomping biting maiming snarling hissing etc etc 

[spotsupstuff]

with the mandarin dub of s3 special out (gods bless it made me so happy) i just kinda wanna ramble for a bit about moments that stuck with me the most (part 1 cuz fuck u tumblr for the image limit)

ABSOLUTELY in love with the vibes in these two lines- i don't know if it's just the effect of the language Itself or mandarin Six Ear's specific voice acting, but these lines remind me SO much of my dad when he used to give martial art lessons. granted, his teaching were kind of based from korea so i had "Hajime!" instead of the chinese equivalent, but literally Six Ear's vibes in these instances are exactly the same

which, considering his history as Qi Xiaotian's "teacher" is a detail that REALLY nicely scratches my brain hemispheres, it just makes me so giddy lsjdgklsagmlkds

fact! fairly sure Six Ear called Qi Xiaotian only by his first name in This episode for the first time ever while Xiaotian was actually present. the VERY first time was in s3e9 when Six had SWK n Nezha pinned with the ice powers as he realized that the rings are with the kid, i think, but, yanno, Xiaotian wasn't exactly present so -shrugs- didn't really have the Effect

WBS saying "King" here has been replaced so it would actually work with the word structure of Xiaotian's catchphrase. first comes his hero name- "Little hero Wukong-" and then the "comes". WBS supplied this cute tiny thing to the phrase: 送死

WBS HAD BEEN SCARIN ME SHITLESS THE ENTIRE DUB BUT FOR SOME FUCKIN REASON THE "U" IN THE "MIHOU" IS VERY SILENT IN HERE SO IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE SHE JUST SAID "MIHO" N ITS SO FUCKIN CUTE I DONT KNO WHAT TO FEEL THERES SO MANY CONFLICTING EMOTIONS WITHIN ME

i don't know if Six is bein fucking cheeky or its supposed to be a pun, but 猴精 kinda means "mischievous person" in its nature but LITERALLY translated its "monkey spirit" (in this context i guess it'd be nicely translated as "monkey spirited") which i just -stares intently at his entire physique- Fuck You Too, Sir

the fucking way Xiaotian fucking yells "Dali ge" has been making me tear up each time i fuckin heard it i adore this little man so fuckin much its unreal AND THEN HE HAS THE GALL TO SAY 搞定他 LIKE A LIL BOSSY BITCH I JUST........ YOU FUCKIN HUMAN BAG OF DUMBASSERY WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS I LOVE YOU

there is no ma"quack" in mandarin, but instead theres a 六耳先生 which i'm p sure is Mr. Six Ear n idk it makes me smile, Sha Dali is so respectful :) (literal translation of 先生 would be kinda like "born first/prior")

My Mans Sounds Like A Grandpa Why Are All The Monkeys Grandpa-ing So Hard also like fuck Six Ear's theme, man, it makes me wanna pick up a guqin so much

[viktorpartner]

THIS FAMILY IS SO FUCKING CUTE py X Family spoilers ep 3 :)] PART 1

My skin has been cleared, my assignments finished, my anxiety cured.... AND ALL BC I WATCHED THIS SHOW

Now, I know I already talked about the intro last week... BUT IF FUCKING SLAPS. The animation? Top tier. The symbolism? Outstanding. The song? An absolute bop.

Also, can we talk about how cute Anya is??? Like when she showed Yor the apartment <3 <3 <3 It just warms a part of my heart that I thought was dead...

And like Yor going along with it and indulging in Anya's excitement... She is best mom and I will not hesitate to fight anyone who says otherwise.

This show is so fucking funny. I swear the relationship between Loid and Anya has me dead on the floor (just look at Anya being the adorable kid she is....).

Okay, so I already talked about how good of a mom Yor is.... but like Loid is just as excellent of a parent as she is. THE DEDICATION of decorating Anya's room, THE SPY POSTER, THE PLUSHIES. Endo is a criminal for giving us Loid and expecting us not to obsess over him, smh.

Them as a family, just them. Istg like how can they be so fucking cute??? Slice of life can get SO boring if the characters are plain but this show manages to make the most mundane shit sooooo entertaining.

I'm sorry, I had to discuss the family portrait. I just adore Anya's and Yor's expressions like they really don't know how to behave as a family. Whereas Loid aka veteran spy is having a crisis over how impossible the mission will be. The dinamics in this anime are just fucking fantastic.

Okay, now brief intermission where I proceed to simp for the characters:

Loid had me on my KNEES this ep. The glasses, the scene where he apprehends that criminal.... Like damn boy, you trying to give me a heart attack or what???

This man, this man right here is UNREAL. LOOK AT HIS FACE WHEN HE'S EXCITED, I WAS SQUEAKING, SCREAMING ON THE FLOOR! He is just so dreamy.....

AND HIS WIFE. Do you see how beautiful Yor is, huh? Can I interest you in some fucking appreciation for this breathtaking woman???? And it's not like she's just good-looking, NOOOO they had to make us fall in love with her bc of her amazing personality. She is so gentle and caring I just cannot phantom how breathtaking she is....

[Okay, so I run out of space (again...). See u in the next post (link) where I continue to thirst for 2D characters. BUT LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN THEM????? BC THEY'RE SO BEAUTI--]

[magicwithineleteo]

tinkerbell and the great fairy rescue liveblog!!

- i’ve actually seen this movie a few times but i remember the plot vaguely

- i love how each movie happens in the transition of each season

- THEY HAVE DIFFERENT OUTFITS EACH MOVIE I LOVE THAT FOR THEM

- TERENCE MY MAN HES HERE

- apparently he’s not a regular now :(

- BLAZE IS BACK I WON

- yaassss

- TINK DONT BE A DUMBASS AND FOLLOW THE HUMANS THATS THE ONE FUCKING RULE

- vidia isn’t mean she’s right. don’t go close to the fawking HUMANS

- oh god the dad. he’s a flop i remember him being a traitor

- why did he let his kid go to the meadow alone? she looks 9

- how does silvermist be a water fairy and manage to not get wet?? if being wet makes their wings not work, how does it not constantly happen to her? and she’s not immune to it bc i’m pretty sure it happens to her later on in the movie

- my conclusion is that it only happens when they get soaked w water, not if a drop falls on them. thank u

- how did the kid manage to be right ab the fairies painting the butterfly wings 😭

- what a nice little house for the fairies she made. i wish tink wouldn’t go in it like a FOOL

- okay vidia is right she’s not a bitch she’s just blunt

- can’t believe tink let herself get kidnapped by a little house made by a human, what a gullible little fairy. jk she’s curious! curiosity kills the cat me thinks. poor cat :(

- so true vidia

- AW FUCK

- NO THE DOOR IS STUCK

- WHY DOES TINK NOT BELIEVE HER

- SHE ALWAYS DOES THIS

- that lil girl must be so excited while tink is so scared

- NO DONT SHOW UR STUPID DAD HES A FLOP LATER ON

- oh her name is lizzie

- thank god the dad is stupid and doesn’t look

- HE TRAPPED THE FUCKING BUTTERFLY YOU ABSOLUTE PIECE OF SHIT

- HUMANS ARE MONSTERS

- I HATE US I WISH I WAS A FAIRY

- so true lizzie is smart to not show her dad tink after that

- NO THE CAT SHADOW IS SO MENACING PLS CAT

- AW HELL NO WHAT KIND OF CAT

- I LOVE CATS BUT THIS ONE SUCKS

- vidia watching the whole time, shows that she does care ab tink <3

- MR TWITCHED THE MURDEROUS CAT

- WHY IS SHE IN A CAGE

- oh she unlocked it

- ok maybe tink x vidia makes more sense now

- nvm unlocking the cage doesn’t do shit

- this is the first time i genuinely feel bad for her

- yas vidia go

- nvm she can’t

- oh she is

- oh she fell

- nvm

- good job vidia telling everyone so true

- aw vidia cares!!

- okay i’m gonna stop live-blogging for now so i can eat an ice cream sandwich. i’m still gonna watch tho

- i’m back and while i watched while eating i saw that vidia was sad when the fairies all did a handshake thing and that made me sad

- anyways now they’re going to rescue tink in their boat while tink is chilling w lizzie

- i like how some of them are british

- I KNEW SHE WAS 9

- she’s asking so many questions

- tink would be good at charades

- this is so cute , the best day of lizzie’s life

- fawn is so pretty

- A WATERFALL SHIT

- “ROSETTA COME GRAB MY FEET” “what” LMAO

- YAASSS SILVERMIST MY WATER FAIRY QUEEN SHE SAVED THEM FROM DEATH

- oh they’re all unconscious nvm

- LOL THEYRE FUNNY

- i like how he’s scottish . i forgot his name

- bobby is his name he’s scottish

- holy shit how’d she make a pop up pixie hollow

- what a talented child lizzie is

- aw she’s letting her go

- lizzie’s gonna grow up and tell her grandkids this story bc of how unreal it is

- doesn’t she get captured by the dad why is she free

- oh nvm she watching lizzie telling her dad

- what a rude dad

- lizzie’s gonna need therapy when she’s older

- wait is tink going back

- big mistake made by tink part 2

- part 1 being going into a human made fairy house

- no don’t fix the leaks are u crazy

- ah the iconic rosetta scene

- she’s a mood

- will vidia accept friendship now is this the scene

- OH HELL A FUCKING TRUCK

- YAS IRIDESSA

- SO TRUE FAWN BIG BRAIN

- how do people fall asleep so quickly i could never

- tink don’t be a dumb bitch and fix the leaks

- phew i don’t think she does that

- oh so he does care ab his daughter

- NO SHE IS GOING TO FIX THE LEAKS

- BIG MISTAKE MADE BY TINK PART 3

- poor butterfly :(

- aw that’s sweet

- oh tink released the butterfly

- this dad is such an asshole

- fuck u dad ur a piece of shit

- aw poor vidia she is regretful

- they’re so sweet i love them i wish i had irls like them

- tink is now lizzie’s therapist

- i wish i was a fairy too, lizzie

- oh to be covered in pixie dust by a fairy and fly around my bedroom

- SHIT THE MURDEROUS CAT IS BACK

- LMAO THE CAT IS FLYING??

- the dad is such an asshole. SUCH AN ASSHOLE

- YOU ASSHOLE BITCH DUMB FUCK IDIOT I HATE YOU DAD GO SUCK AN EGG

- OMG VIDIA SACRIFICED HERSELF FOR TINK OKAY I SEE THE SHIP I LIKE THE SHIP

- the fate of their lives is in the hands of a 9yo flying to london

- i miss terence

- okay i’m lowk tired of this movie i’m glad there’s only 15 minutes left

- LMAO MS PERKINS

- vidia being concerned for tink <3 okay i ship them now enemies to lovers

- vidia is a lesbian it’s canon

- i’m glad tink isn’t annoying in this movie, just lowk stupid

- is dad gonna get a redemption arc or

- omg they’re making him fly now

- aww he did get a redemption

- yay vidia has friends and a gf now

- awww they’re really cute

- good for the dad and daughter

- OMG VIDIA AND TINK R HAVING A TEA PARTY

- OH LIZZIE IS HERE TOO

- AND THE DAD??

- awww now he’s spending time w her :)

- BLAZE MY BABY

- OH THEYRE ALL HAVING A TEA PARTY AND THEY ALL MADE HER A FLOWER CROWN

- MURDEROUS CAT YOU LEAVE CHEESE THE MOUSE ALONE

- they’re listening to the dad read her book :’)

- TERENCE

- MY BAE IS HERE I WON

- what a sweet ending

—

so i liked this one a lot, i’ve watched it a lot so knowing what happens lowk ruined it but i like it!! i think it’s my second favorite, the first being the lost treasure movie :D

[ushidoux]

Hourglass - Catfish and the Bottlemen, Osamu x Reader

Warnings: brief drug mention, nsfw

A/N: This song and Osamu make me go u wu. Also idk honestly this might be OOC but I like this song 

---

When you finally shifted in the messy bed to look fully at Osamu, your legs tangled in the covers still and body just inches apart from him, you couldn’t keep the three words from tumbling out:

“What are we?”

You were clad in an oversized T-shirt, maybe his, maybe yours, you couldn’t quite remember, and your panties which were absolutely ruined, and your body felt somewhere between full with slice after slice of pizza and light with puffs of marijuana and incessant laughter. 

But it was the middle of the day on a lazy weekend, and it was quiet now, and so you’d drifted off to a short nap in his arms, only to wake up back to back and slightly apart.

It was a small thing, but it unsettled you, this idea of being apart even for a moment, particularly after spending so many hours with him. You didn’t live together; in fact, you were hardly even officially dating as the agreement had never been made in words, but you knew with all your heart that you loved him. Nowhere else but with him did you feel so free but somehow comfortably tethered to the very matter of the earth. 

Osamu didn’t shift as you did to look at you, continuing to stare at the ceiling. You continued to watch him carefully, not moving a single muscle as well, staring at the curve of his jaw for tension and the profile of the nose you loved to kiss.

Maybe if you reached out to intertwine your hand with his, he’d know exactly how you felt? You weren’t trying to force your relationship into a box, but it was moments like these when you woke up and the reality of who you were together hit you and felt so unreal that you needed maybe just a little reassurance.

But you didn’t want to push him, Osamu was not someone ever to be pushed.

A few moments passed, and before fear could set into your vulnerable heart, he pulled you close to him in a sudden but gentle movement. Rather than lay your head against his chest as he had so many times before, he buried his face in yours instead, wrapping an arm around your midsection.

“We are what ya want us to be,” his voice muffled against your bosom.

Your heart began to beat fast, but you were confused. Was this a declaration of love or one of his typical noncommittal responses?

“‘Samu, I don’t understand,” you uttered before he kissed you again suddenly. When you broke apart, you could see the flush in his features, and maybe just a little bit of reticence until finally he steadied. He interlaced his fingers with yours before looking in your eyes, his demeanor now calm and serious.

Again your heart thumped as he started his confession, clasping his hand around yours and holding your knuckles to his lips.

“Listen carefully because I won’t repeat it,” he whispered. “If it were up to me, I’d have your kids and take your name, ___. I wanna make you breakfast, lunch and dinner every single day and fuck you morning and night. I want to lay down every brick of our house and hear you call it our home. I know it’s a lot, so you get to decide who we are.”

Speechless, you nodded slowly as you took his words, sincere but startlingly heavy, and he grinned before he rolled on top of you again, to yet again to claim you as his.

It wasn’t I love you; it was better.

[waitingforminjae]

tw // unreality

don't u just loveeeeeee it when at 2am after a crazy busy week when ur just trying to go to bed and ur mom FINALLY gets out of the damn bathroom just to come into ur room like "i'm so glad ur not a boy. *sniffles* i love you :(" and then starts spouting absolute nonsense abt how, "idk it feels weird to call him grandpa harry" who worked for the pentagon for years (another excuse ig for her dad ghosting her post-divorce) contacted her personally to say that russia is gonna send a low dispersion nuke or whatever into probably poland and he wants us to *mumbles incoherently* bc he's*mumbles incoherently* and how we're gonna deploy troops soon and how china has taiwan surrounded by warships and we/korea have a protection agreement w taiwan so basically wwiii is abt to start and says ALL OF THAT in the most "prepare for the worst" tone of voice ever then starts rambling abt trying to find her real birth certificate (bc her mom/stepdad forged hers to make her legally his kid) and tearing apart "randy's" stuff but they can't find it and the whole time ur watching her arm twitch and shake violently hoping if u roll ur eyes enough times she'll get the hint bc this is all really stressful and ur just trying to go to bed and this is all being sprung on u completely unprompted and none of it is fucking true and then she gets mad when u finally start yelling even tho she basically just made up some shit abt russia blowing us all to hell and ending the world for some fucking reason on a random saturday night. anyway.

[earstwo]

     ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

I hit 7k recently after losing almost 1.5k followers when I converted to a Reylo blog (not sorry in the slightest) and decided it was time to finally compile some of the INCREDIBLE fanfics that I’ve read since joining the fandom in December. 

I’m constantly impressed by the talent around here and I'm so grateful to love a ship that has some of the most amazing content I’ve ever seen. The creators in this fandom are second to none. I’m so thankful for all they do and all that they give to us. 

Please keep never stop sharing your gifts. <3 

**Note: Most (pretty much all) of these are rated E. 

Without further ado, here are (some of) my favorite stories: 

The Jedi Path  by SouthsideStory | 19k | E | I am such a sucker for Jedi Academy Ben and Rey. It’s everything I never knew I needed, and this fic is a beautiful rendition. If you know me at all, you know that I devour Angst with a Happy Ending stories, and this is no exception to that rule.

Exile by Ernzo | 22k | E | Oof. This one hurts. Leia sends Rey to the planet where Ben is exiled. It’s angsty and sad and cathartic in every way. I’ve read it dozens of times. 

Before the Saber Swings by @waterlilyrose​ | 28k | M |  Fuck. When I tell y’all that this story fucked me up, I mean it from the bottom of my s o u l. It stayed with me for days. I literally couldn’t get it out of my head. It felt so real to me that I was in physical pain while reading it. I also made an AU gifset of the fic with a quote from Buffy because I’m extra and love pain. 

penitence by @bettsfic​ | 16k | M | Look, Betts is one of my favorite fanfiction authors of all time. Her Bellarke works are some that I’ve read dozens of times and I was fucking ecstatic when I found out she also writes Reylo. This is an A+ TROS fix-it that is lovely and soft and sweet. 

The Writings of Ben Solo by BurnedStars777 | 39k | E | This was recced to me by the fabulous @galacticidiots​ and is just a fantastic story all around. Rey finds Ben’s journal whilst stuck on a planet with Kylo Ren and she (eventually) connects the dots. Rey falling in love with Ben sight unseen? Here. For. it.  find a thread to pull, and we can watch it unravel by again_please | 17k | E | A fantastic post-TLJ story with angsty and broody Ben and just some all around quality smut. I devoured this and have read it multiple time since. 

We Could Plant a House, We Could Build a Tree by @likeadove​ | 124k | E | I will probably never stop reading this fic. It’s such a beautiful coming of age story for Rey and her relationship with Ben as she grows up is just... gah. It’s fantastic. Please read it.    

Soul Searching by OptimisticBeth | 205k | E | Soulmates AU where Ben is Rey’s teacher? Sign me the fuuuuck up, and Soul Searching is so fucking well written. I go back to this one every few weeks and just gush at how great the world building is. I love the relationship Rey has with Leia and Han. It’s rich with love and angst and fluffffff. So good. 

Coveted by OptimisticBeth | 82k | E | WIP | OptimisticBeth is just an incredible writer, so you should honestly read all of her stuff, but I am so, so, so into this fic. It’s A/B/O and Ben’s Rey’s pack leader. He, along with a bunch of other Alphas are trying to court Rey, a highly desired Omega. It’s so fucking delicious, y’all. Alpha Ben Solo is just...it doesn’t get much better. 

A Treehouse Covered in Salt by violethoure666 | 34k | E | This fic made me cry my eyes out. I’m not kidding. It’s so raw and real. It hurts to read at some points, but you care so much about Ben and Rey in this that you fight through the pain. They grow up together as neighbors and Han builds them a treehouse where they meet throughout their childhoods/teen years. Prepare to cry but also be so fulfilled and satisfied. It’s wonderful. love it when you call me lover by @kylotrashforever​​ | 66k | E | WIP | First, let me say that anything by KTF is going to be gold. These fics I have listed are just a few of my favorites at the moment. Lover is hot as fuck (as is all of her stuff) but also fluffy in the best way. It’s in Sadsville right now so I’m fucking PUMPED for her to update. Ben’s a doctor who basically gives Rey a sexual awakening when he proves her statement of “I just don’t think I can come from (insert sexual act here)” very, very wrong.  

mountain at my gates by @kylotrashforever​ | 26k | E | More A/B/O goodness. Omega Rey’s car breaks down on a mountain. Ben is a mountain man Alpha. You can probably guess what happens from there. *fans self* 

take me to church by @kylotrashforever​ | 26k | E | I love this story so much. Ben is the pastor’s son at the church Rey grows up in. They start hooking up in secret and are terrrrrrible at communicating with each other which leads to angst. But it’s so sweet and soft while also being super hot. I love this Ben and Rey so much. 

Your Pretty Little Heart by @ever-so-reylo​ | 64k | E | The A/B/O Reylo bible, I feel like. They’re doctors and he’s a grumpy as fuck Alpha. Shenanigans ensue. And by shenanigans I mean a lot, a lot, a LOT of sex. 

The Food of Love by @lovesbitca8​ | 60k | E | Y’all. If you haven’t read this yet, please stop what you’re doing and read it RIGHT NOW. I ate this fic up in one sitting because holy SHIT it’s amazing. It’s so well written and the story is just... absolutely exquisite. Ben is cellist that’s also a famous rockstar and Rey’s an up and coming violinist and they fall in loOOoOOve in the best, most angsty, sexiest way. Please just read it right now. The scene when she firsts goes to his apartment and plays one of his cellos............you guys. It’s a lot.

Already Home by AttackoftheDarkCurses | 81k | E | This is soulmates + A/B/O so naturally I am obsessed with it. Rey gets connected with her soulmate via a website and he’s going by the name Kylo Ren. At the same time, she’s also moving in with grumpy librarian Ben Solo. She falls in love with both but has no idea that they’re the same person. It’s INCREDIBLE. 

Tangled but Unbroken by AttackoftheDarkCurses | 20k | M | I read this the other night and it’s so fucking soft. I am such a fucking sucker for growing up together fics and this is just such top quality. The braiding kills me every goddamn time. Also, I’m making my way through all of Attack’s works right now and they’re all incredible. Highly recommend. 

Dear Mr. President by @shmisolo​ | 89k | E | I love this Ben so much. The characterization is so on the money. The angst is absolutely delicious. The smut is top brass. Oh, and did I mention they’re soulmates? It’s everything you need, I promise. 

Good Day, Professor by @faequeentitania​ | 38k | E | One of the best Professor Solo fics out there. I’m such a sucker for age difference fics. Of course there’s angst, who do you think I am? 

Embers by sciosophia | 34k | E | Breaking up/getting back together fics are some of my favorites and this one is fantastic. The pining with these two is ridiculous. You just want to smush their faces together. It’s a beautiful love story. 

Reclaimed by @bettsfic​ | 14k | E | Ughhhhhhhhhh, Reclaimed. I am so in love with Reclaimed. Alpha Ben adopts Omega Rey after she’s rescued from this terrible Alpha that held her captive for most of her life. She doesn’t talk and Ben has to help her learn to be a human being and not just a subservient Omega. This Ben is the Ben of my dreams. No contest. 

the following are all written by  @kylorenvevo​. please read them all if you haven’t already. 

landscape with a blur of conquerers | 362k | E |  Y’all know this shit is fire. It’s basically the bible. If you haven’t read this yet, consider this as me yelling at you to do it NOW.   

like young gods | 84k | T | fuck, the Sword of the Jedi series is incomparable when it comes to in-universe fics. I cannot begin to express how much I love this story. It’s so soft and intense and sad. Like, gut wrenchingly sad. Ben senses Rey on Jakku when she’s six and he and Luke take her back to the Jedi Academy. She grows up with Ben. 

to kingdom come | 145k | M |  The sequel to Like Young Gods. I’m not gonna spoil much here, but just know I cried through most of this fic. I downright SOBBED at the end. It’s gorgeous and I will never stop rereading it. The love these two have for each other... it’s unreal. 

i kill giants  | 34k | E | WIP | The TROS fix-it we all need. Ben is alive and finds Rey on Tatooine. It’s soft and Thea does a great job of soothing so many of the gaping wounds we were left with after TROS. My heart soars every time I read a new chapter. This is what we deserved. :( 

the heartbreak prince | 58k | E | WIP |  Harry Potter AU. Professor/student. Size kink. Virginity kink. ANGST. All the good things life has to offer. Professor Solo is fucking filthy in this and I (along with Miss Niima)  am here 👏 for 👏 it. 

place the moon at my eyes (and her whiteness shall devour)  | 29k | E | Another breakup/get back together fic that I absolutely adore.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Thank you to everyone that’s been so kind and welcoming to me the past couple of months! I love this fandom and its energy and enthusiasm and how much everyone seems to care for each other. I hope that I can continue to create content for you forever <3 

[albatris]

hello logan i feel obliged from love to finally ask a burning question about jacob greer: how much therapy does he receive??

this question can be generalized to all atdao, ofc, but you know my feelings for jacob

hello!!!! how's it going?? :D :D

thank you so much for the question, I am literally always waiting to pounce on any opportunity to ramble about jacob ahahaha

so I think I've joked before on this blog about how a potential ATDAO sequel is just "jacob greer goes to therapy".......... there's enough content there for at least a whole 'nother book imo

but anyway anyway yes hmmmm, a good question, ok, alright

short answer....... none for 90% of his life so far, then a lot of it

long answer,

well, he was never in any therapy as a kid because his 'rents didn't really ""believe in"" it......... n like, there was a lot of pressure on jacob growing up to keep up this image of the perfect golden child, n samuel and shauna saw him more as a prized object to be paraded around to make them look good rather than a human person..... so this meant no straying outside the norm, n if you had any negative feelings or resentment or anxiety u better repress that shit RIGHT away

so the rhetoric surrounding mental illness for jacob was very much..... any symptoms you experience will be fixed if you just try harder! and the fact that his parents saw him succeeding at everything that was important to *them* and were like??? you can't possibly be unhappy?? what do you mean?? you're doing fantastic in life??

and unfortunately he internalised all that so he kinda just........ Dealt With Stuff on his own for most of his life because he just always assumed his experiences were Perfectly Normal and he didn't have it "bad enough" to warrant therapy

n like. jacob has absolutely no issue with other people getting therapy. he just thinks, oh, but that's DIFFERENT, they actually NEED it, their problems are real not like mine

as a side note samuel and shauna greer's only motivation for allowing tris and becca into therapy was because they were Difficult and Not Like Jacob, it was not done with the intent of being supportive or out of concern for their wellbeing, it was basically just "we are at our wits end trying to make you normal so maybe this will"

n even then tris only landed in therapy initially cuz he got himself hospitalised and they were like "ma'am psychosis is not caused by the devil your son needs to see a psychiatrist"

anyway. jacob!

so....... he thankfully gets a lot of therapy after the climax of the story is over and done with!! to begin with, it's mostly to try and handle the aftermath of the unreality and all its associated trauma. poor sweet boy's been through a LOT. like, yeah, of course the unreality was fucked up for tris too but jacob spent weeks there terrified and alone and convinced he was dead and in hell the whole time...... lots of fun! yeehaw

n even SANS all the unreality stuff that ensued, dude almost got crushed to death in a car accident which is. hm. a lot

he basically gets out of hospital post-unreality, goes home, and is like. ok. here we are. time to get back to regular life. huh. why is my vision clouding over. why am I hyperventilating. why does my chest feel like it's going to explode. I think I'm having a heart attack

various people around him are like "yeah fam that's a panic attack also you went through something super fucked up and traumatic you should probably do some therapy about it" and he's like "nah"

he has to get over this mental hurdle of how like..... him going to therapy wouldn't be "cheating" (whatever that means) and how you don't have to have a capital M capital I Mental Illness to go to therapy (although he has several)

n after some gentle coaxing from tris and some "dude I love you but you're a dumbass" he agrees to it

and it's great help for coping with post-unreality life! it also opens up the floodgates to 25+ years' worth of trauma that he didn't realise was trauma

so ya, it starts off as mostly centred around his experiences in the unreality and around [redacted other story content I can't reveal due to spoilers], but also opens the door to him finally starting to work through...... a looooot of other stuff

complicated feelings towards his shitty parents, self-worth issues, identity issues, obsessive perfectionism, the ever-present panic that people will abandon him the instant he's not useful, his tendency to land in awful relationships because he's incapable of setting boundaries and can't recognise red flags, the years of stress from trying to protect his siblings from the same treatment his parents gave him, and the usual Growing Up In A Literal Reality-Unraveling Apocalypse

I feel like that's kind of an oof note to end on but, like, he's...... absolutely heading in the right direction? he has a lot to untangle and a lot of work to do and it’s probably not something that’ll ever have a definite End Point, but as with all (story) endings in ATDAO it's kind of just like....... yeah, he's gonna be alright, he's got this

y'know

he does make it to a place in life where he gets some consistent peace and happiness and is surrounded by good people who love him very much

so to answer your question, lots of therapy, finally, at long last, thank god

in conclusion,

*gives jacob greer a gentle kiss on the forehead*

[mycptsdrecovery]

TW for abuse, mental health crisis, unreality, mental hospital mention

hi im a 19 year old and still living with my parents. ive been trying to move out since august and i planned to move out by december. in late december i was not having much luck with housing and i started having memories of not so great things my parents did to me throughout the years play in my head. i rly have no idea how to explain this confusing clusterfuck of a situation in just a tumblr ask but basically i want to know if the things my parents did count as sexual abuse.

from a young age my parents didnt respect my boundaries. my parents often touched my butt (it sounds so stupid calling it that idk what else to put) in seemingly nonsexual or accidental ways, but they didnt stop as i grew older. i remember the first time that i realised i was being sexually abused (thats how i thought about it at the time, idk). i dont remember what my dad did specifically but i was 8 years old-ish, i started puberty around then because my body hates me. it was probably to do with my butt/waist/ things and my dad touching them. we were about to go in a shuttle to the airport, it was like 2am. i remember i stayed silent through whatever happened but at some point during or after i remember bursting into tears and like... thinking to myself that my dad is sexually abusing me (i dont remember where i learnt what that is) and my dad asking me what was wrong but i refused to talk because i was scared. moments like these where my dad touched me in a way that didnt feel normal and i burst into tears happened multiple times. ive felt very uncomfortable around my dad for most of my life at this point. hes the kind of dad who doesnt talk about anything hes thinking or feeling, doesnt talk much at all or have many friends. we have rarely had conversations past surface level talk thats appropriate for strangers or acquaintances so i have never known whats in his head and whenever ive tried to get him to talk with me about something serious he shuts down and leaves. hes very neglectful emotionally, though he used to sometimes fulfil his emotional duties as a parent when i was a very young child according to my mum but he stopped at some point. for a really long time ive been afraid that my dad was sexualising me in his head or sexually attracted to me. ive grown up having nightmares about my parents raping me.

here are some of the things i remember my parents doing. some memories are not easily accessable and some have not been processed as an adult.

TW

-both my parent regularly touched my butt in a variety of contexts. i never confronted my dad about it because i knew he wouldnt answer me. i have learned to only hug my parents in a specific way so that my arm is always under their arms so i can stop them from putting their hands too low.

-my dad used to put his hand on my waist and hips/lower back. he was basically doing the kind of casual touch that you would do with someone ur in a sexual relationship with. he doesnt anymore because i have stopped allowing him to spend much time with me.

-my parents, mostly my mum have touched my breasts very lightly and casually. it could be seen as accidental but my mum has never responded to my frequent requests to stop touching me like this.

-my mum showed me her vagina once as... sex ed? i have no idea if this is normal which is kinda how i feel about most of the ?sexually? themed things my parents have done.

-my mum has always commented on my body in ways that made me very uncomfortable, such as often commenting on how i would be sexually harassed because of the outfit im wearing, even the necklace im wearing.

-my mum gave me several moderately detailed accounts of sexual assaults that hve happened to her, like for instance when i was around 6-9? she used a story of a sexual assault that happened to her while in a pool to say that i be afraid in public pools. the amount of detail was very unnecessary.

-one time my mum was telling me about how boys pinch girls buttcheeks to tell them they think theyre 'sexy'. then she pinched my buttcheeks a bunch of times even though i didnt want her to. im sure she did this many times and i was literally like 5 years old or something.

-my mum talked to my sister while i was in earshot about... how she would be ok with it if i married my 1st cousin? and she named him specifically. it made me feel rly weird around him.

-again my dad has always just given me huge predator vibes and ive always been super afraid of him.

this list is definitely incomplete but i dont remember anything penetrative or to do with anyone touching my genitals.

i tried to tell someone about the "sexual abuse" twice when i was 13, both during mental ward stays about 9 or 10 months apart. the first time is completely blacked out from my memory and the second one... they told the police. my dad was questioned and nothing happened because i never wanted anyone except the nurse who i told to know and refused to tell anyone any details. i just wanted to get a weight off my shoulders. instead i got a 3 or so year long period of my mum emotionally abusing me to a degree she never had. i was almost completely convinced that i had never been sexually abused. i still dont know if its true or not. the specific term my mum used was that i "mis-interpreted" my parents actions as sexual abuse. i didnt push back, i was too terrified of her and i just dissociated to cope with those years. i was very very isolated from anyone except my mum. i wanted desperately to be a young child again and felt like one most of the time. before 6 years old was the only period where i felt like my parents actually liked me.

when i was around 15 i started sexually getting involved with older men online. i wasnt attracted to them, i didntdesire them, i just was so traumatised from... whatevrr u want to call the way my parents treated me but i didnt feel that i had the right to be. i felt like i needed to get some "real" trauma and i dont want to say what i did but im lucky that none of these men ended up meeting up with me irl at least. the fucked up thing is that though it did traumatise me, i kind of felt better because i wanted something i could feel justified in being upset about.

now im 19 and my brain is hitting me with all these memories. i havent felt safe with my parents for most of my life. theyre neglectful and emotionally abusive towards me. they abused all my other siblings physically quite a lot and two of them have moved to different countries so that they can not live in the same place they grew up in. 2 out of 3 of my siblings have completely cut ties with my parents for years now. when i was 11 i recoeved an email from my brother telling me about our parents not being safe people.

ive started to consider the possibility of the constant violation of my boundaries counting as sexual abuse. i have a lot of sexual trauma symptoms and i have for a very long time. i grew up afraid that my dad was going to rape me. i think i was abused by my mum into associating holding my parents accountable with the punishment she put me through after she found out i reported them. i just want to know if im allowed to be upset about this. im terrified that this is normal, because if its normal that means i was a gross freak as a kid who just "mis-interpreted" these actions to be sexual abuse. i need to make sense of my reality somehow. im so confused.

you absolutely have the right to be upset by this. what they did to you was not okay. an adult touching a child intentionally in inappropriate areas is molestation, even if they played it off as not a big deal. many of the things you mentioned also sound like grooming which is often a part of childhood sexual abuse. i’m so sorry these things happened to you. i hope you are safe and can find a way to not be around your parents.

[kkodzvken]

luuuune can u give music recs? the songs your fics are named after are all so good

grouping these all together bc most of my inspiration does come from music!! usually, my ideas start w a general vibe or “spark”, and then i flesh it out from there. the spark normally comes from music, but sometimes it’s a book i’m reading, or a conversation i had, or just random things (for example, i saw some flowers earlier this week that gave me an idea for a dabi fic KDHFJSK). i usually pick one song and loop it while i’m writing bc otherwise the variety gets too distracting lol

recs under the cut!! i went pop -> kpop -> punk/emo/alt

to start out w, everyone and their mom recommends chase atlantic lmao but they r just SO GOOD !! and the vibes r so sexy and give me so much angst inspo skfjdkskw

songs: slide, like a rockstar, lust, consume, i never existed. the don’t try this ep is my favorite, and i’m writing a dabihawks punk band au inspired by it!!

i also listen to the weeknd (trilogy), khalid, sza and kehlani (their latest album, it was good until it wasn’t, is a fucking masterpiece) a lot while writing!! 

one of my faves is shinee, specifically jonghyun and taemin’s solo albums (ot5 until i die, but their solo music is sexy and sets the ~mood~ for writing smut lmao). i gave some jjong rec’s in the tags of this post!!

taemin songs: heaven, love and pansy hurt my heart. thirsty, criminal, famous, and sexuality are hoe songs lmao

speaking of shinee, i like other kpop as well!! bts are forever my number #1 (hyyh is one of my favorite albums ever — so bittersweet, makes me painfully nostalgic). also looove monsta x !! tomorrow x together, stray kids and ateez are also great. mamamoo r the only girl group that i like, i just can’t vibe w a lot of gg concepts skfjfjsj (although i do like a few soloists)

a lot of people stan kpop just for the idols but i do like the music a lot!!

txt: ghosting, blue hour, drama (the japanese music video is haikyuu concept lmao), our summer

monsta x: middle of the night, nobody else, gasoline (the title is in hangul so you can’t look it up specifically on streaming services, but it’s the second song on the fatal love album), last carnival, blind, my beast, turbulence (again, hangul title, but it’s track 7 on take.2 we are here)

i also recommend solo albums/mixtapes of the monsta x members!! joohoney’s psyche, i.m’s duality, and wonho’s two eps!!

and speaking of solo work, all of the bts rapline have amazing solo mixtapes. i love their group music that’s hype w heavy concepts/production/choreo (ot7 always), but the mixtapes hold a special place in my heart because they feel so ...intimate, almost? like a piece of their hearts that they’re sharing with the world. rm’s mono is the definition of comfort. j-hope’s hope world is lots of fun, but he just released the extended version of blue side, and it’s absolutely heartbreaking (and reminds me a lot of touya lol). and agust d... listen, i love him more than words can say, so his mixtapes d-2 and self-titled, along w the other song’s he’s solo produced like eight by iu, are very special to me.

i’m not majorly into skz/ateez/mamamoo like i am w the other groups, but they’re all amazing performers so i recommend checking out their comeback + awards show stages!!

i also really love eAeon, he’s a korean indie artist, and his music is breathtaking. he just dropped an album called fragile that’s i adore, the lead single don’t features rm of bts and is unbelievably beautiful.

okay that’s all good and fun but the majority of what i listen to is emo shit lmfaoo i’m definitely more into alt + punk music, here are some of my fave bands and fave songs from them!!

blood command: they are unreal i love them SO MUCH!! they’re a norwegian punk rock band w a female singer, return of the arsonist ep is when i got into them and it’s golden. no thank you i’m more into fake grindcore, saturday city, white skin/tanned teeth, and alarm all assassins are some of their best songs imo

dance gavin dance: listen... their music scratches a certain itch in my brain that makes me go insane akdjfjsk they’ve had a bunch of different lineups but the more recent albums with tillian and jon on vocals are my favorites (jonny craig can suck my dick, fuck that dude). lost, son of robot, bloodsucker, young robot, inspire the liars, jesus h. macy are all great. acceptance speech, man of the year, and evaporate make me cry/lose my mind

mannequin pussy: *chefs kiss* drunk ii is a masterpiece, i cried to that shit every day after a break up, so cathartic. cream and kiss are more upbeat, and their latest song perfect is also vv good!!! patience is a beautiful, emotional album, whereas romantic and self titled have more classic alt bops

G.L.O.S.S.: listen, theyre so fucking cool, and i respect the hell out of them. they only released a few songs before disbanding but i’ll cherish those songs until i die. they perfectly embody what punk should be. demo 2015 is on streaming services, and their second and final ep trans day of revenge can easily be found online!!

wow this is getting fucking LONG so i’ll just quickly list a few more, but this was so fun, i love talking ab music!! pls don’t be shy, i’m always down to give more recs or hear about the stuff that u like!!

movements, yonaka, shiny wet machine, real friends, skating polly, nova twins, the japanese house, bratmobile, yours truly. and, ofc, the pop punk staples: jimmy eat world, paramore, waterparks, stand atlantic, neck deep, the story so far, etc etc !!

[lesbianlenas]

here are my comprehensive thoughts on bly manor that i have been writing since midway through my watch of the show in case anyone wants 2 hear my thoughts

victoria pedretti’s voice alone makes me want to nut unironically. combo w everything else and she is literally god. knew this from hill house but now she’s blond + playing a lezzie so that amps it all up by 500.

speaking of have so much love in my heart for miss dani clayton. she just wants to help children and is so caring and kind like ok wife? her adorable fake british accent. cannot make tea or coffee. i’m going to call the FUCKING police. determined walk run. tucked in shirt. comp het + internalized homophobia. just so brave and selfless. she has it all. would marry her in half a second.

and the absolute DEDICATION of her stomping on out after flora when viola just almost choked her to death. i’m literally on my knees proposing right now.

flora is so fucking cute absolutely love her would die for her immediately. also sometimes she is creepy and i am very scared of her. duality.

did not enjoy the jump scare w edwin or edward or whatever the fuck mr hetero’s name was i don’t remember. not the car scene like when dani turns around and sees him behind her and then he goes flying back into the mansion. anyway i get he had his heart broken but do not feel good abt how he was basically trying to force dani into marriage by constantly asking her until she said yes. like of course she’s going to eventually give in even if she didn’t want to when he was clearly not going to stop and if she said no instead of pushing it off she would lose basically everyone she considered to be her family. and then when she tells him that she can’t love him romantically he’s like fuck you dani ok homophobe. perhaps i’m glad he got hit by a truck ❤️

immediately noticed smth was up w hannah from the second she wouldn’t eat and i was like oh ok so she’s a ghost. her ep was SO confusing though until the end i was like what the fuck is going on here 😩 anyway hate to be right but. fuck peter quint.

same thing w miles i was like what the FUCK is wrong w this kid and then i was like oh he’s possessed then oh he’s possessed by peter quint in like. ep 2. once again hate to be right. fuck peter quint. also prior to watching the show i rarely saw anything abt miles and i was like why does everyone only talk abt flora? now i get it.

jamie is just so fucking sexy. like the lesbian energy off of her is unreal and smth that you don’t get too often w lesbians on tv. either amelia eve is a dyke or she somehow knows exactly how to emulate them bc truly unreal. only wish is that she didn’t wear makeup but we can’t have it all can we. also cannot stop thinking of her as a mechanic every time she’s wearing that like jump suit and god that would be so fucking sexy i......anyway love her w my whole heart.

speaking of how much i love jamie....the way that she acts all tough and a little cold while she is actually the most empathetic person and somehow knows exactly what to say to anyone when they’re having a rough moment and she won’t sugar coat it either but it’s bc she cares and understands so deeply that it’s ok.....wow. wife?

wish we could’ve gotten to know rebecca more outside of just her relationship w peter. i feel like that did her a major injustice. we practically saw none of her relationship w the kids and it seemed to me like they were trying to imply in the beginning that flora had been very close w rebeccca and i feel like we didn’t see that. felt like rebecca ended up mostly being a prop for peter’s story which was unfortunate considering she was such a great character. and did NOT get why she was so hung up on him either like oh he SEES me after one convo? he was also a dick like immediately after like....once again feels like a disservice that they had her be in love w peter based off of like nothing. like all of a sudden all her ambition is gone and she just wants to b w peter? lol ok.

charlotte cheating on her husband w his brother the absolute mind. fucking hilarious. thought he was jealous at the birth scene or that flora might be his but i was like no no way he probably just has a thing for her. but she is way too attractive for her husband anyway. do not condone cheating but she’s a milf so i let it slide. also flora actually being henry’s hilarious. fucking love this drama. had me rolling. “do you love him?” [silence] LMFAO. and dom’s (got his name!) fucking smack down on henry holy shitttttt will b taking some notes for next time i’d like to turn someone suicidal on fucking god.

i know it was the best vehicle for telling the story but tbh the dream hopping got SO exhausting for me after a while. i just did not enjoy that format. i’m already not one for flashbacks even in this context bc i want to know what’s going to happen next in the main story rather than what happened to get here since i know where it’s going and i just found this to be even more confusing and a little frustrating and incredibly hard to follow. but that’s just my personal taste i wouldn’t objectively say it made the show bad or anything. i think it was also bc all of the twists were unfortunately very obvious so the long drawn out explanations were like. thank u u could’ve said this in five mins instead bc i already knew this. felt like some of the dream scenes were pointless and could’ve been replaced w some better scenes.

flashback ep w viola was ok. kate siegel is so hot obviously but. once again felt extremely extended past the point it had to be. the repition of sleep wake walk was SO annoying like thank u i got it. but i was always a lot more interested in what was happening current day than in the past so once again this was just whatever for me. but good on viola’s hot sister for taking her out have to do what u have to do u know! did enjoy viola killing her back. just thought it was funny.

and how can i even express in words how i felt abt dani and jamie’s relationship? watching the scene where they first kiss literally put me to tears and i just had a real moment w it. and just in general the way that they open up to each other is just so incredible and how jamie makes dani feel so seen that dani literally can’t resist kissing her makes me just. cant put it into words. their relationship really encapsulates what is so beautiful abt lesbianism and that means so much to me truly. will probably make a whole post abt it tomorrow.

ok so in conclusion: i wanted more present day stuff instead of flashbacks. i feel like there was a LOT more creepy shit they could have done in the house and they just. didnt. also wanted to see more of owen in general but also hannah and owen’s relationship and jamie and dani’s relationship. felt like peter and rebecca got practically more screen time than jamie and dani did despite them being the main couple. felt like character & relationships wise there was a lot left unsaid. like yes the plot was finished with a neat bow but i don’t think most of the characters were done justice in the end. and speaking of which i don’t think the sad ending was necessary. do not see a single reason as to why dani needed to die. i feel like they felt it needed a sad ending and that’s why they killed her rather than it actually making sense. like girl get an exorcist. overall the whole thing felt more like an outline for a show that needed to be fleshed out rather than an actual finished show. perhaps could have benefitted from a few more eps maybe. but also. FUCK peter quint.

[delusionland]

stream of consciousness rant under the cut about teddy

teddy altman is the funniest character in the world because he’s LITERALLY /in/ the civil war event in a single panel with billy where they’re both like THIS IS FUCKED UP BRO! I DONT WANNA BE HERE!!!! and then he’s in the skrull invasion event where he could LITERALLY STOP THE SKRULL INVASION at ANY TIME and he’s just like ‘haha... i’m 16 bro and i kinda... don’t want to kinda busy being gay rn : / its a big time investment’ and thats also incredibly funny

 but whats MOST funny is that all this happens to him, he’s literally an avenger, he has this whole thing with ‘mother’ in ya v2, he’s hot af 21 year old with his whole life in front of him but because he’s not related to any OTHER avengers except for the old captain marvel who is dead as a doornail and who he has a complicated relationship with, he’s like : (((( i have no purpose.... i’m sad... i’m gonna eat pizza bc my boyfriend is cooler than me he has two families : (((( and he’s friends with doctor strange... i’m not friends with doctor strange...

like obviously he just has depression and self-worth issues and such a strong sense of unreality that he briefly believed he was not a real person and was made up by his boyfriend?

but also.

like TEDDY ALTMAN. you FOOL. ur literally a SPACE PRINCE. ur COOL as fuck. stop playing animal crossing and luigis mansion. you can FLY. and SHAPESHIFT. idiot

how are you going to be living the transgay DREAM life and be like : (((( like teddy fucking altman. you wish fulfilment based fool

he’s like the most painfully normal gay guy in the universe like he might be a shapeshifter that has the abilitiy to turn himself into a hunk, but under that. he’s round spongebob with depression. his favorite game of thrones character was tyrion, which means he definitely didn’t read the books, AND he legitimately liked the show and the character of tyrion within it. i will never forgive him for that

i’m giving him a lot of shit here but thats because i’m an asshole. i love him to death. but it’s like ‘teddy u big boob with big boobs. sort ur shit out.’ and he does end up sorting his shit out. but jesus. how are you so normal

i think my problem with teddy & billy in general is they don’t feel REAL to me in a lot of ways bc a lot of their characterization is so by-the-numbers ‘gay’ but also ‘rich’ and ‘popular’ and ‘depressed’ so i like. this is NOT my gay experience. i’m a fat non-binary butch dyke agoraphobe. i can’t comprehend their story because it’s so fundamentally different to my own lived experience. and when i try to make it match up to mine---it feels like billy & teddy are living in a dream world where they have absolutely no flaws bc they’re forced into being ‘charming gay representation for teens to look up to’ and its like. what am i supposed to do with this. with the exception of the gillen run. which everyone??? hates now????? i don’t know. i love them. and more importantly i’m still trying to understand them on my own terms, how they’re written---what they really represent beyond being the most popular two charcters on r/lgbtsuperheroes, beyond winning glaad awards.

like who ARE they beyond billy and teddy. who are they beyond the labels and whats the latest in nerd culture and gay culture pop culture references!!!!

what makes a ‘canon gay character’ ‘canon gay’ and what makes them textured, layered, real? the second one is so much important to me, but how can i distill ‘realness’ and give it to those canon gay characters? how can i make one half of a pair which is about one third of a set make SENSE to me. feel like the gay people i know, feel like members of my community i can relate to and respect without feeling a sense of jealousy, a sense of self-hatred, a sense of being robbed of a universal experience of ‘canon gayness’ that doesn’t and will never exist?

this just has to be my next project tbh. getting back into young avengers, figuring this out.

how do ‘out gay people’ live, how do the ‘popular kids’ live, beyond maligned celebrities and royal families that i understand in their fucked up straightness---how does it feel to be accepted & acceptable and still gay AND MENTALLY ILL?

i don’t know, man! i don’t know! i think maybe i just can’t see the forest for the trees. but billy & teddy feel like too much to hope for in this world sometimes, too soft a story, too kind but also? too... fake? i got issues yall

[yntcdtyler]

so here’s my lover secret session’s story... 02/08/2019 london 🏹🇬🇧

i got my dm on twitter on july 16th at 5:15pm and i looked at it thinking someone was trying to boo boo the fool me and it was really gonna say something like “stream ME!” so i opened it not thinking much of it and my heart literally SANK when i saw it was actually REAL. i got the phone call 4 days after from a girl called sara who was from Taylor Nation, she told me everything and i was literally in the storage room in work crying.

so it’s finally august 2nd.. i got up at 5am cause i literally had 4 different trains and 2 ubers to catch, when i finally got to my hotel it was around 11am, i checked in and got ready and went to the meeting point. i was literally the first one there so i panicked thinking i was at the wrong place but more people started to show up and immediately everyone formed little friendship groups who they seemed to have stayed with the whole day which was insane. i met lisa and emma which i’d recognised from twitter because we’d been following each other for so long and then georgia, evie & shiv all came over and we all just bonded and instantly became friends and realised we we’re the brits of the group, there were SO many international fans and it was amazing seeing people come from all over the world! our group was first on the bus and i’m not sure why but we were literally all crying like wtf was going on?? we drove past a few ambulances thinking ‘that’s gonna be our ride home after tonight’ cause at this point i’m like dying and then we finally got to THE HOUSE.

we all go inside, the ME! playlist was on, there was a huge moose head on the wall which we all became really intrigued by, a huge mirror to see ourselves ugly crying, there was food & drinks and little m&m’s with ‘lover’ and hearts on them and i have no idea what was going on in my mind at this point, like i didn’t know what to expect.

so then we all go to the living room we’re there was a bunch of cushions on the floor and a chair and speakers in front of us and i KNEW what was about to go down lads, it’s about to happen, we’re about to hear lover and i just wasn’t ready and i was sat THERE in front of the chair and a few minutes later... SHE COMES OUT FROM BEHIND THIS DOOR LOOKING LIKE LIKE AN ACTUAL GODDESS THAT JUST STEPPED OUT OF HEAVEN AND I DEAD ASS DIED RIGHT THERE THINKING ABOUT THAT AMBULANCE I SAW EARLIER ON CAUSE SHE JUST WASNT REAL. so she’s like “welcome to the lover secret sessions” and the noise that came out me was actually not human at all. she played half the album the first and kept apologising for ranting and going off topic which was so funny, she’s so adorable i was literally in awe. then was like “we’re gonna take a break so you can all go the bathroom, have a drink and stretch your legs” and then mentions she’s made us treats and everyone’s like OMG and she’s literally like “it’s just rice crispy treats i dyed in heart shapes” and it was just the funniest thing bc she’s just so sarcastic but they were the cutest things and just knowing she spent time making them was honestly insane. like i ate a rice crispy heart treat..made by taylor swift? sounds fake. so then as she’s passing them around, she’s goes into the garden and starts talking to everyone and thanking people’s parents and let everyone on her trampoline and just shouts “THESE ARE MY KIDS” with a glass of wine in her hand and it was such a taylor swift moment. it was just surreal like wtf? imagine bouncing on taylor swifts trampoline? i would’ve went on it but i wasn’t about to break my neck before listening to the rest of the album x

okay so we go back in to listen to the rest of the album and throughout the whole album listening part, i just kept crying and she kept looking at me and smiling and singing and i was just bloody in shock. there was one point during a song we’re me and georgia we’re holding onto each other crying and she just looks at us and tilts her head and gives us the most warming smile. right there we both died together it was unreal. but the album HOLY SHIT every song was INSANE. i found it so hard to pick a favourite so i have 3, this album is literally her BEST, and this coming from a speak now stan🤝 i was just the happiest i’ve ever been, it just seemed like a dream. seeing her sat there in front of me so happy and in such a good place, feeling so proud of this album and these songs just made my heart feel so full. what i was feeling in that moment is unexplainable. just pure happiness like i knew life doesn’t get any better than this... right it’s time for the meet and greets and everyone goes back in to the other room whilst they got ready and people started queuing then to go in and meet her, she spent so much time with every single person and seeing everyone’s faces coming out that room was so magical. the event was supposed to be over at 11pm and it’s literally 1:30am when it was my time to meet her. she’d literally been meeting people for HOURS and is 2 and half hours past the end time and she didn’t even mind. everyone was so eager to go inside that me and the girls decided to wait till the end.

so evie had just come out and now it’s my turn. i almost fainted, i was so dizzy and nervous and WHEN I TELL U I WAS PETRIFIED TO GO INSIDE, I ACTUALLY MEAN IT BECAUSE I WAS STOOD OUTSIDE THE DOOR REFUSING TO GO IN FOR ABOUT A MINUTE CAUSE I COULD JUST SEE HER STOOD THERE AND I WASN’T READY BECAUSE LIKE I’VE DREAMT ABOUT THIS MOMENT SINCE FOREVER. emma and lisa we’re stood there laughing trying to force me inside as well as a girl from TN. took me a good minute but i finally walked in, i walk over to her trying not to cry AGAIN and she’s stood there smiling at me and she says to me “it’s tyler isn’t it?” and i was like JDJSKDJD “yeah 😭😭😭😭” cause i didn’t think she knew who i was and i was just randomly picked by TN??? she then pulled me in for the biggest hug and i just felt like this is it, i’m gonna bloody pass out. I TOLD HER THAT WAITING IN THAT QUEUE TO MEET HER WAS LIKE WAITING FOR THE ELECTRIC CHAIR and i was like why tf did i just say that omg but she laughed and was like “omg hahaha it’s like waiting for the electric chair that’s so funny” then i gave her the lover necklace i’d gotten made for her so we had matching and she kept saying how much she loved and how beautiful it was. then said “i love your necklace” with a little smirk because i was wearing her ‘TS’ initial necklace and my heart just went HDAJHDJDDH. then she asked did i enjoy the day and i was like of course??? it was so amazing i couldn’t stop crying and she was like “aw i had so much fun, i love doing these” and then she asked how i’d gotten here and i told her that i had to take 4 trains and she looked so shocked and thanked me for doing that and asked if i was travelling afterwards and i told her i had a hotel and she goes “omg good, PLEASE don’t talk to any strangers” and i’m just like YEAH OF COURSE ANYTHING FOR U MISS SWIFT :’)))) i hugged her about 3 more times and i asked her about tour, and how she found me and she said she’d found me on tumblr and literally said “its tylovestaylor right?” and i was just like WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK. IM SCARED. cause i barely use tumblr because i’m the only one who reblogs myself??? and i’d gotten my dm on twitter so my mind was like wtf is going on right now?? i told her i changed my url and she said she’d follow me 🥺 then says “so do you wanna like... take a picture together or something?” YEAH OF COURSE, IM A BIT OF A MESS RN BUT ABSOLUTELY. she asks what i wanted to do for the photo like stand, sit, go near the piano? and i told her to choose because my mind was just all over the place and she says to me “i think one sitting down with our legs crossed over acting all (then does some pose) and stuff” i just couldn’t believe what was actually happening. we sit down next to each other and she grabs my hand and i’m just holding her and the photographer takes the photo and she tells me to have a look to see if i like it and i said i looked so bad and she goes “ITS SO CUTE, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL AND PHOTOGENIC” then the photographer told me i was really photogenic and tay goes “SEE SHE EVEN SAID IT” did taylor swift..who invented photos and beauty... just call me beautiful and photogenic? surely not. so we took one more pic and she said she loved it so i loved it😭😭😭 we got up and hugged again and i just kept saying i love you and she told me i was beautiful and i was like SO ARE U???? and then i told her that i still don’t believe she’s real and she laughed. we hugged again i told her i loved her as i was walking out she shouts “please get home safely” and i said “have a safe flight wherever you’re going next” at the same time and she laughed and was like “OMG THANKYOU?” and i walked out and the emotions i was going through oh my god. i’d just met my favourite person in the entire world? like never in a million years did i think i’d ever meet her let alone get handpicked for secret sessions. i was in so much shock like it wasn’t real. that never happened? i’m still in shock now and literally crying writing this. she was so lovely and welcoming and spoke to me like she’d known me forever.

AND AFTER ALL THAT, SHE DECIDES SHE WANTS ME LITERALLY DEAD AND LIKES MY POST ON HERE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. RIGHT AFTER I’D MET HER.

i couldn’t get over how beautiful she is, inside and out like i already knew that but seeing her in real life is so different, she’s literally flawless and so cute and delicate and i’ll literally die for this woman. thankyou so much, from the bottom of my heart @taylorswift for choosing me out of 100m+ fans, i’ll never understand why i was chosen but i can’t explain how grateful i am. it was by far the best day i’ve ever had in my 18 years of being alive, nothing will ever come close to that moment. i cant wait for everyone else to hear this album, i miss you and your hugs already and i forgot to tell you because my mind was blank but i’m insanely proud of you and will support you forever. promise.